Having alot on my shoulders lately and feeling weighed down by it all. It's probably the end of semster agitation in the building of the pressure of passing this semster. I have just finished two rotations on med surge and although it was tense I refused to back down to nurses or my instructor. There are times when I question can I do this? What am I thinking? Then out of know where I get a compliment from my patient stating that I have given them the best care since their admission. When all I did was provide them a warm blanket, listen to them when they voiced their complaints and provided some type of entertainment at the cost of myself, usually tripping over my feet. Lately, my anxiety has increased ten fold where my heart has become an issue of late. There are times when I just have to sit to calm down from unseen threat that my body has deemed their. It has gotten to the point where my mother in law sent for her sister in CA to do therapy with me. In my reluctance I agreed figuring what the hell. I had to laugh a little, because the setting of therapy was like that of office space the movie. Except my therapist didn't keel over with a heart attack. I was kind of hoping for that no caring attutide about nothing, except it opened pandoras box for me. I was confronted with things that I wasn't ready for much less reveal to her even though everything said was in confidence. What it can down to was the single idea that I am inadquate. Everything ties into that one single annoying concept. So now dealing with the open wounds of therapy, my family is dealing with the soon coming death of my grandparents. Which is a problem I am to tired to talk about it now. Perhaps I will finish this thread at a later time, I am being called.